Becoming Your Own Best Friend

If you’ve ever felt lost, insecure, or unsure of who you truly are, trust me—you’re not alone. For years, I based my identity on the people around me, trying to fit in rather than figuring out who I actually was. But I’ve learned that the most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself.

Building self-trust and confidence doesn’t happen overnight, but it is possible. And it starts with treating yourself the way you would a best friend.

Phase 1: Getting to Know Yourself

Without self-discovery, it’s easy to mold yourself into what others expect. I spent years mimicking styles, personalities, and opinions, only to realize that the real issue wasn’t how I presented myself—it was how I felt about myself.

A great way to start? Journaling. Ask yourself:

What do I actually enjoy doing (outside of what others like)?

What makes me feel the most like me?

Where do I feel the most at home?

Step 2: Recognizing Patterns in Relationships

At one point, I realized I was constantly shaping myself to fit into other people’s lives—without questioning if they fit into mine. That realization changed everything.

If you’ve found yourself in similar situations, try reflecting on:

Have I been accepting treatment that I wouldn’t want for a loved one?

Am I adjusting my personality to maintain certain relationships?

The more you acknowledge these patterns, the more power you have to break them.

Step 3: The Power of Spending Time Alone

Intentional alone time helped me build confidence in who I really am. Some things that helped:

✔ Solo dates—taking myself out for coffee or a walk without distractions.

✔ Journaling—writing down thoughts about self-worth and confidence.

✔ Sitting with discomfort—acknowledging insecurities instead of avoiding them.

Step 4: Building Trust & Confidence in Yourself

Confidence isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being okay with your imperfections. Here’s how I built trust with myself:

1️⃣ Be Honest With Yourself – Acknowledge your role in situations instead of blaming external factors.

2️⃣ Keep Promises to Yourself – Even small commitments (like one home-cooked meal a week) rebuild self-trust.

3️⃣ Listen to Your Intuition – Your gut instinct is more powerful than you think.

Phase Four: Living as Your Own Best Friend

Once you build trust with yourself, you can start living like your own best friend. That means:

Setting boundaries without guilt.

Saying no to things that don’t align with you.

Making choices based on what you truly want, not what others expect.

A powerful journaling exercise:

👉 Make two lists—one of what you love about yourself, and another of things you struggle with. Sit with it. No judgment, just awareness.

The more time you invest in yourself, the stronger your sense of self will become. And remember: You don’t need to change who you are to belong—you just need to find the spaces where you naturally do.